Blocked, bamboodled, befuzzled

Okay, I’m sitting here in my chair, my EZ Stressless chair, which relaxes me enough to put me to sleep, wondering what to write.

It’s not like I’ve got anything new on my mind. In fact, after the holiday weekend, it’s practically sinking, weighted down from all the food I’ve consumed and several days lounging in the pool.

It’s the kick off of summer in our neck of the woods, and nobody gets into the spirit like my dad. Part of it, is him keeping the same traditions we had when mother was alive. The other half is that he wants us near. But, it’s wearing on him and me. Weeks of preparation, just to pack all of that energy into two days of being with family, eating, drinking, and having a good time.

But that’s left me blocked, bamboozled, and befuddled. Yes, the play on words in the title was intentional. At least, I had enough presence of mind to accomplish something noteworthy. But then I began wondering did I really need noteworthy? Yes, I need to keep my presence online, so my readers and fans can connect. But, like an actor, do I need to constantly be remarkable, writing exceptional content every time I’m online?

I’m sure you don’t want me to write that I just sent off a prelim evaluation to the reading dept. @ TWRP. Or that I’m furiously reading the last book in the Rawhide series so I can publish that review. Or that I’m hopping between three stories right now because each one is vying for my attention. Or that I’ve got to update my blog with author spotlight, and begin reading a new series for my next review all waiting for my attention.

But there it is. I’ve got deadlines, all self-imposed, and because of family obligations, I’m backlogged. This brings to mind something my husband used to say before he left for work. And, I hated to hear. He’d say, “while you’re sitting at home today doing nothing, you might want to . . .” I broke him of that habit quick. I may have some writer’s block at the moment, mainly because I’m being led into so many directions, but never have I ever sat at home doing nothing.

But, I figured out, while I put sheets in the wash, there must be a lesson for me in this somewhere, and sadly I realized, it’s not, how can I divorce my family. So, I’m accepting the fact that I’m up to my eyeballs with family obligations during the summer and holidays. I’m accepting the fact that me and my dad do all the work, though I have two sisters, and an adult niece who benefit from said work. I’m accepting that. I really am.

I’ve also come to the conclusion I’m going to adapt, go with the flow. If I can’t get it together as early in the day as I like then I’ll just change my routine and work later in the evening. And with a little help with writing, getting the stress out, I can focus on the important things.

And finally, I’ve decided that I’m thankful. Yes, though, me and my dad may be the only one’s who put forth the effort, I know that I love my family, and now that mom is gone, I need to hold them close and cherish them more often. So, even though I’ve complained about them, and my own role in enabling them to count on me to do all the work, I still enjoyed being with them.

Gotta run. Oh, did I mention my son’s selling his home and needs mama to help him empty closets, caulk the windows, clean out the garage . . .



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s